Meltdown
by Shadow.Alchemist13
Summary: I stood at the edge of the new nuclear reactor. The bright lights hypnotized me, and I felt myself wanting... no, needing to dive in. I'm sorry everyone. But, I doubt that anyone would care if I disappeared anyways. Lame Summary, some RinxLen. Rated for Character Death. Oneshot. Happier Alternate Ending given
1. Chapter 1

**This is a oneshot songfic of the song "Meltdown" (One of my all time favorite Vocaloid songs). It's sort of depressing, but I'm quite happy with it :) (I probably shouldn't be ":)" when writing such depressing stuff). A few things: I have another idea to do with this song, so if an alternate ending is requested them I will give it. It is a lot happier. Also, This is just an idea. It is not necessarily my interpretation of the song (although it can be). Just wanted to clear that up. I think that that is all, so read on wards~**

**Disclaimer: I do [not] own Vocaloid**

* * *

Rin's P.O.V

I quietly slipped outside and into the cold night air. It was freezing, but I didn't really mind. I did have somewhere that I needed to be, after all. Its 2 A.M and I can't sleep. I wish that some sort of anesthetic ether would be given to me so that I could forget the pain, but nothing of the sort was within my reach.

First to make a stop to the house of the boy who broke my heart without even meaning to. I had the key to his house around my neck (not that I am a stalker, or anything. It's just that we have been best friends for the longest time). I quietly slipped in and walked upstairs and into his room. Len Kagamine. My memory flashed to something that had happened a few weeks earlier.

"_Hey, Len! Oh… hi, Gumi," I said. For some weird reason I didn't like them two being together. Maybe it had to do something with the two of them holding hands._

"_RIN, GUESS WHAT?" Len shouted._

"_W-What?" My hands gripped the end of my shirt, and I could feel myself beginning to panic. Those smiles on their face… the hands linked together… the obvious blush…._

"_Gumi and I began dating!" My best friend (and the guy I am in love with), and my other closest friend. I gulped, trying to hold down the vomit that was coming up. "It's all thanks to you, Rin! Had you not introduced us then who knows?"_

_My bangs covered my face, and I thought for a few seconds. I then put on the fakest smile that I have ever wore in my life (and that is saying something since my life is so sucky). "G-Good j-job. Congrats. Now, I have to go." Neither Gumi nor Len noticed my pathetic smile, or how small tears were forming in the ends of my eyes. They were too busy with each other._

That was a few weeks ago. I could handle the first few days, but after that it was too damn lonely.

My father died saving me from a car accident. My mother was an alcoholic (and also abusive), and eventually ran away with some guy that she had a one-night-stand with (I have no idea how that worked out. "One-Night" is in the name for a reason). I was always different, and was bullied. I only had two friends—Gumi and Len—and now they were dating. Too busy to pay attention to me. I guess I seem completive, but it's hard not to be when you are in my position. And I had all of these mistakes that added up over the years. My stomach feels like it's on fire, a pain that can never leave me. I honestly wish that everything was a lie—my parents, the relationship between my two friends, the people who laughed at me. I just... want to disappear.

Back to where I was. I looked at Len, sleeping so peacefully. Probably dreaming of Gumi. I had been dreaming about him:

"_Hey, Rin. You okay?" It was Len. He was holding some orange ice cream in his hand, banana in the other. It was a beautiful day in the park, the afternoon sun beating down on us, making me sweat. The sunlight seemed to blind me._

"_I-I'm okay," I stuttered back._

"_Well, you can tell me anything. We are dating after all." My heart soared, and I felt unbelievable happiness. And then the dream became a nightmare._

_Suddenly Gumi was there. She was smiling at Len, Len back at her. They ignored me, and began walking away. I felt anger, and suddenly ran and tackled Len. I put my hands around his neck, tears streaming down my face. I looked down to see my hands were dirty—perhaps dirt… or blood._

Shows how messed up I am, right?

I looked down at his face once more, and then moved some hair so that it wasn't covering his face. I placed the note that I had written earlier on his bedside table, my ribbon right next to it. He gave it to me when I was younger. It is so… pure, in a way. It's intentions simple, it's color white. And nothing as pure as that should be anywhere near me. I go to his window, and hop onto the floor.

I live in a small town, mainly a farm town. It was quite at night—no cars, no noises, no nothing. You could hear a pin drop. Behind the fields was a newly installed nuclear reactor. That was my destination. I had snuck up there was once before and it was beautiful. I could clear my head and think, most of the time depressing things. It didn't matter, though.

I reached there. Right next to the reactor was a big platform connected to it that reached the top. There was a ladder resting to the side, and I quickly scaled it. I looked in.

Oh, how I wish that I could just go and be a part of that beauty! The blue light hypnotized me, and I could feel myself wishing to become it. I sat down, my legs hanging over the side of the reactor. I would fly and be free from this hell called life. Oh, how I wish I could….

_I sat down numbly on the couch, rereading my mother's letter again. The clock still ticks, and people on T.V still talk and laugh. Laughter. I have forgotten what it was like to laugh and be happy. The letter fell to the floor, but I didn't bother picking it up. I had it memorized. It said:_

_Dear Rin,_

_ By the time you have read this I will be long gone. I am sorry, but I feel that I need to go on a journey with someone, and that someone isn't you. I will probably never return._

_Mom._

That was all. No "I Love You"s, no "I will return." The letter was just a load of bull. I wish that my mother would have left without writing it.

Oh, how I wish that I could just go and be a part of that beauty! The blue light hypnotized me, and I could feel myself wishing to become it. I would fly and be free from this hell called life. Oh, how I wish I could….

I can literally feel this world dying through my eyes. Not actually dying, but dying in the sense where I wouldn't—couldn't—care what would happen to it. There was nothing left for me, no one caring about me. Yes, I was drowning in self-pity. But self-resentment was a big part as well. I hate myself.

I made too many mistakes. When I was five, I had wandered into the street. A car was coming, and my dad pushed me out of the way. He died. When I was seven, I had accidentally lit my apartment on fire. Then my mother and I had to stay in a shack. My school and its needed supplies coasted too much. I don't blame my mother for running away, although I would have never left my daughter in that situation… or perhaps I would. I am an extremely selfish person, after all.

Oh, how I wish that I could just go and be a part of that beauty! The blue light hypnotized me, and I could feel myself wishing to become it. I would fly and be free from this hell called life. A morning without me would be so would be so wonderful. If I disappear I can sleep, and oh, how I wish I could….

I suddenly get up, and back away from the beauty. My ears won't stop ringing, two words circling around my head.

Agitato: In an agitated manner.

Allegro: In a brisk manner.

If you add them together, you get me. An agitated girl, trying to finish her life in a brisk manner. Yes, it may sound stupid, but that is how I feel. I know that I sooner or later—I just hope for sooner. I don't care anymore. What could matter now? _I have nothing. _It annoys me, it irritates me. I just want everything to end, so I can fly away freely.

The silence of the night is beginning to get to me—the night being my life, the silence being no one, or nothing. Nothing. I have nothing. I have no one, I am alone. I begin panting. I am all alone in this world—no one would care if I disappeared. My hands become sweaty. I look to see the moon is blood red. I wonder why. A sign of disaster… or perhaps something new… I could just… disappear.

And

suddenly

I

can't

breath.

I scream tears through my throat, and pierces through the night. It is a scream of madness and resentment. Anger, yet joy. Loneliness. I can see lights flickering on. Including Len's. I'm pretty sure that everyone can see me now….

I take off, run, and dive in. And a wonderful, beautiful feeling of peace and joy enters my body….

* * *

Len's P.O.V

I awaken to a scream, and suddenly I am terrified. I _know _that scream. I rush to my window, which is wide open for some weird reason. My room has the view of the new nuclear reactor. And I see a figure on top of it.

I _know _that figure.

It jumps, and I can't see it anymore.

What... I don't—can't—understand what is going on.

I see a piece of paper on the floor, next to it a ribbon.

I _know _that ribbon, and who it should be with.

I pick up the note and read it. A sob emerges from my throat, and suddenly I am running as fast as I can, down the stairs, trying to stop that idiot from she has done. But it's too late… too late. The note is crushed in my hand, and I read it one more time.

_Aishiteru. _**(A/N: Figure out what it means. Hint: It's in Japanese)**

* * *

*Time Skip: A Few Days Later*

My mind flashes back to when the workers where mulling around the reactor. People crying, pretending like they know Rin for who she is. I. Hate. Them. They know nothing, and in a few weeks they will forget all about her. Just how they will conveniently forget how they drove Rin into a corner and forced her to do… _this. _

But a nasty voice in my head says that it is also my fault.

Why hadn't I noticed?

Why didn't I realize how lonely and upset Rin was?

Why didn't I realize that I was in love with her until it was too late?

Why hadn't I been there for her?

Why didn't I do something.

I should have.

Should have—but never can, now.

Rin and I where always a pair. **(A/N: The things in italics is what Len is doing/thinking)**

_Its 2 A.M and I can't sleep. I wish that some sort of anesthetic ether would be given to me so that I could forget the pain, but nothing of the sort was within my reach. _

The bunny and the wolf. We were often called that.

_I honestly wish that everything was a lie. I just... want to disappear. _

Always together.

_My stomach feels like it's on fire, a pain that can never leave me._

Never to be apart.

_I could literally feel this world dying through my eyes_

Left and Right.

_There was a ladder resting to the side, and I quickly scaled it. I looked in._

Rin would always lead.

_I take off, run, and dive in._

I would—will—always follow.

* * *

**Did you get the ending? Sorry for all of the character death :/ Does anyone wish for a (HAPPIER) alternate ending? If I get requested, then I will write it. **

**Also, did you catch the lyrics that I put in? (It was basically the entire story) The English lyrics are:**

The town is filled with brilliant light  
The chill of anesthetic ether  
2 AM, and I can't sleep  
Everything is changing so fast

The lighter's out of oil  
The pit of my stomach is on fire  
If everything is such a lie  
Then it really would be better

I dreamed of wrapping my hands 'round your neck  
On an early afternoon, overflowing with light  
I dreamed, with eyes full of tears  
of cinching your narrow throat

I want to dive into  
a nuclear reactor  
Surrounded by beautiful blue light  
If I dive into  
the nuclear reactor  
then I can let it all go

On the other side of the balcony  
The sound of someone climbing the stairs  
The clouding sky falls into the room  
through the window panes

In the scattering twilight  
The sun is red, like teary eyes  
Bit by bit, as if dissolving  
Little by little this world is dying

I dreamed of wrapping my hands 'round your neck  
'Neath curtains rustled by a breeze  
The words overflow from your  
dried up lips, like bubbles

I want to dive into  
a nuclear reactor  
So the memories melt away to white  
If I dive into the nuclear reactor  
Then I'll be able to sleep as I did long ago  
That's how I feel

The second hand on the clock  
And the officials on the tv  
Are still there, but the laughter of someone I can't see  
is echoing all through my head

Allegro Agitato  
My ears won't stop ringing  
Allegro Agitato  
My ears won't stop ringing

I dreamed that everyone was disappearing  
The emptiness and silence of this room in the night  
Weighs down on me  
I can't breathe anymore

(Shout!)

Should I dive into  
the nuclear reactor  
I know I can disappear, so I can sleep  
A morning without me  
Will be much more wonderful than now  
Where everything is in gear

That sort of world, definitely

**That is it. Ask questions if you have any. Hope that you liked it, and please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**HARO! The Alternate Ending was requested, so here it is! Please review which one you liked more, and your thoughts about this ending! Arigatou! BTW this goes back to when Rin was putting the note on Len's bedside table, but through Len's P.O.V. Also, there is lots of RinxLen in this ending, so I hope you don't mind. That's all!**

**Disclaimer: It's a fanfic**

* * *

Len's P.O.V

I woke up feeling quite cold, and looked to see that my window was open for some strange reason. I checked the time. 2:03. I slipped out of bed to see something drop to the ground. After picking it up, I walked over the window, not bothering to see what the thing I picked up was. Crossing over the window, I looked at the moon for a few seconds before I began shivering uncontrollably, and began to close the window. And then I stopped when something caught my eye.

Someone was sitting on the edge of the nuclear reactor. My eyes widened. I know who that is. What is she doing there? I felt pain suddenly enter my finger, and I looked down to see that I had a paper cut. So it was a piece of paper that I picked up… and it had a ribbon tied around it. I gaped at it before opening and reading it.

_Aishiteru. _

My eyes widened once more, and I made the connection between the bow and the paper. I looked at the reactor to see that the figure had gotten up, and backed away. She was just standing there. I realized what she was about to do, and ran down the stairs. Throwing the door open, I began sprinting to the reactor, ignoring the pain beneath my feet (I wasn't wearing shoes while running through a vegetable path).

I am an idiot. Why didn't I realize that Rin was in love with me?

_I looked uneasily at Rin for a second or two. She seemed almost… sad that Gumi and I were dating. I wonder why, though. I saw tears in her eyes as she jogged away. I turned to follow her, but Gumi yanked on my hand. "Where are you going?" She asked uneasily._

"_Rin, she—"_

"_Rin, Rin, Rin! That is all I ever hear from your mouth, Len! You are dating me, not her. Get over her. She is a loser anyways. I am only 'friends' with her because I feel sorry for her. And… and because I wanted to get close to you! So, pay more attention." _**(A/N: Sorry for making Gumi so mean! I love Gumi!)**

I neared the reactor and began scolding myself again. Why didn't I understand that I was in love with Rin?

_Rin began talking to some guy who was usually pretty nice to her. Heat flared through my body, and I felt anger. Why am I anger? I should be happy that Rin has a chance of making friends, right? So, why can't I ignore this feeling of wanting to go and kick that guy in the "no-no zone"?_

What a mistake I had made. I should have known that Rin would have come back here. I had seen her gawking at it for weeks now. Ever since I began dating Gumi.

_"Rin! Rin, are you paying attention?" She was looking out the window, ignoring me. It was one of the few times that Gumi hadn't latched herself onto me, so I wanted to spend time with Rin. I liked Gumi a lot, but if I went anywhere near Rin, she would suddenly get very angry. So I decided to take this opportunity to talk to Rin. "Rin!?"_

_ "Hmmm… oh, sorry, Len. I was just looking at the reactor." I felt unease at those words for some reason. "I snuck up there one night. It was… beautiful. Now other way to describe it. I felt free just by looking into it…."_

I got to the ladder and began climbing.

* * *

Rin's P.O.V **(A/N: This is right where she screams)**

I began running towards the reactor, ignoring the lights that are beginning to flicker on. I suddenly feel something grab my hand. I look down to see my young self right there. She smiles at me, and I know that I am making the right choice. A few more steps…

…3…

…2…

One more step and I am in. I begin leaping in the air, when something suddenly pulls me back so hard that I land on the floor. My but stings, but I ignore the pain when something wraps it's arms around me. I begin straining. "Let me go," I yell.

"WHAT THE HELL WHERE YOU THINKING, RIN?" Shit, it's Len. I began straining even more, and try to attempt to hit him, so that he can let me go. He grabs my hands, and then wraps his legs around me (we are sitting on the floor). I strain, but he has an iron grip.

"Let me go! LET ME GO, LEN!"

"NO!"

"If you have ever truly been my friend then _let go of me. _Let me be happy!" I scream out load. Out of the corner of my eye I can see people gathering at the bottom of the reactor, gaping at the two of us. I don't care. Len doesn't let go.

"I won't let you go because I care about you!" I bit down on his hand, and Len quickly releases his grip on me. I get up, and began running again, but Len grabs my leg and I fall. My head hangs over the reactor and heat rushes to my face. He then pulls me and I slid on the wood platform.

"Len, LET ME GO! I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE! NOTHING, NO ONE! SO GO BACK TO GUMI, OR WHATEVER! PLEASE, I BEG YOU, LET ME BE!" And I mean every word.

"NO, RIN!"

"I HATE YOU!" I begin to cry, and then my cries turn into sobs. "I HATE YOU AND EVERY DAMN PERSON OR THING IN THIS WORLD!" More people gather, and whispers begin erupting all around. "NO ONE HAS ANY IDEA HOW I FEEL! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I AM ALONE!"

"You have Gumi," he whispers in my ear.

"She doesn't really like me. No one does."

"What about me?"

"You obviously don't otherwise you would let go of me!"

"That isn't true!"

"Yes, IT IS!"

"NO!"

"YES! NOW JUST LET ME JUMP! You can stop pretending then."

Len then turns me around hard. I strain, but he cups my chin and looks at me. I gulp. Those eyes, so full of meaning, stop me from straining. "L-Let me go," I say feebly.

"Now listen for carefully, Rin Kagamine. Whatever I have said to you, whatever I have ever felt about you is the truth. I have never lied, or pretended about anything, when it comes to you. Do you get that?"

"I don't believe you. You are just saying that so that you don't feel the guilt when I jump. And if I don't jump tonight, I will come back, Len. I will do whatever it takes, but I will. So, spare yourself the trouble and LET ME GO!"

"No." He says the word so simply. The tears fall even harder.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER IF I DISAPPEAR! I HAVE MADE TOO MANY MISTAKES, AND THEY PLAUGE ME! AND, NO ONE WOULD CARE IF I WAS GONE! MY MOTHER LEFT ME, MY FATHER IS DEAD, I HAVE NO FRIENDS, AND EVERYONE IN THIS ENTIRE FREAKING TOWN HATES MY GUTS! IN FACT, EVERYONE WOULD BE SO MUCH HAPPIER IF I WERE GONE!"

"ARE YOU FUCKING **(A/N: Sorry about that :/) **KIDDING ME, RIN? I WOULD KILL MYSELF IF I DIDN'T HAVE YOU! **(A/N: As proven in the other ending) **NOTHING WOULD MATTER! AND, WHO CARES IF THE TOWN DOESN'T APPRICATE YOUR AWESOMENESS? I will always be there for you, no matter what the situation." I look away, but Len forces me to look at him once more. "I… I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU! SO DON'T YOU DARE DIE!" My eyes widened, and I gap at him. I look up to see that the moon is now white instead of red. My younger self is gone, and suddenly I don't find so much beauty in the reactor. It is completely silent—no more words ringing in my ears. "I love you so much it's unbelievable, Rin. I would do anything for you, I would die for you." He pulls me into his chest, and I grab his shirt. "You are amazing, you know? Just everything about you. I don't give a crap at what anyone else says. If they think something bad about you, they are wrong."

I cry into his chest, making his shirt wet. "B-But, I have done so many wrong and stupid things in my life."

"But you have overcome those experiences with the most strength that I have ever seen in a person. What's more, you were able to give me strength as well. You kept me going."

"Why don't you hate me? Everyone else does, including your parents and your girlfriend." I had heard them when Gumi says that she doesn't really care about me. "It would be so much easier for you… just leave me."

"That's because they don't know you. They haven't seen your beautiful smile, heard you laugh. Seen you sing, or just be with you. And, why would I take the easy way if I could have you for myself? I can't leave you, and I will never try. Even if I did, you would end up doing something that would make me want to love you even more."

I look up at him, hardly daring to believe a single word that he says. But his eyes tell me a different story than my thoughts—they are filled with passion and tenderness. A hint of sadness, probably from what I was about to do. And love. That is what I see the most. Raw love. "D-Do you mean it, Len?"

He puts his forehead to mine, his eyes never leaving mine. "Of course I do." He leans in and his lips touch mine. It was perfect. I fell… complete. When he draws away, I can see that he feels the same way. "Now… join me?"

I nod my head, and we begin climbing down, him first, then me. He reaches the floor when I still

Have a fourth of the ladder to climb down. "JUMP!" Len calls out. I gulp, and I jump. But instead of jumping into the reactor like how I had believed that I would do for so long, I jump into a warm pair of arms. Len catches me, and then spins me around, a smile on his face. "You know, I am kind of glad that you did this. Otherwise I would have never realized how much I love you, Rin." I blush.

"I love you, too." He kisses me again, and I find myself melting into it. We both draw apart, and turn. My eye's widened when I see that everyone in town is standing there. They must have heard every word. I gulp and look away when I notice everyone's glares. Len's parents step forward. "What is the meaning of this?" His mother hisses. He stares her boldly in the eye, not wavering at the least under his mother's murderous glare. "Are you telling me that you wish to spend the rest of your life with a useless girl like this?" I flinch and then look up feebly. His mother is glaring at me, his father looking at me in disgust. The crowds face is a mixture of both. Len shouldn't have to stand this… He deserves better… I almost turn to the reactor, but Len's next words stop me.

"Yes. I would do anything for Rin. Accept it," Len says loudly. Everyone could hear every word. His mother glares worsen, if possible.

"If you do, then you are disowned," his mother hisses, venom in her mouth. My eyes widened, and I look down. It's over.

"What's wrong with you? What is so bad about Rin? She is a heck load better than you, or anyone else here. Just everything about her is amazing!"

"You will be disowned."

"…Fine." What? Len turns to look at me. "May I move in with you, Rin?" I gawk at him, along with everyone else in the crowd. Even his mother is at a loss of words. I nod my head, unable to say anything. Len then picks me up bridal style, and then he begins running to my house. Shouts erupt from all around, but Len ignores them. I close my eyes.

"Rin, we are here. Do you mind getting down?" He asks politely. I nod my head, and then unlock the door. Had I really thought about committing suicide? About leaving Len? I am a fool. I close the door behind us, and Len leads me upstairs.

We lay down side-by-side, our hands linked together. "Len, they are never going to let me stay here…. Perhaps you should ask your parents for forgiveness? You will have a better life…."

"Haven't we been over this? I will say this one more time: N-O, NO! I don't care what they think as long as I have you." I blush. "And, I have been thinking about it. We should leave. Tomorrow."

"Leave?"

"Yes. We can move into the city. I have $2,000 from odd jobs." I get up and look at him.

"D-Do you mean it?"

He kisses my nose. "Of course."

"Well, my mother left me with some money. About$ 60,000." His eyes widened. "I never used it since I didn't want any help for her. I also have about $1,500 that I have from working. That should last us a few months, as long as we get jobs. I think that we should also enroll into a school…."

Len then laughed and then pulled me back so that I was laying right next to him. He then wrapped his arms around my waist and drew me in close. "Enough. We can figure it out later. For now we can sleep."

"…I love you, Len."

"I love you, too, Rin." I smile and then drift off, thinking about our new life together, thoughts about any sort of reactor far from my mind.

* * *

**The ending wasn't going to be like that, but I began writing and that is what happened. I am really happy with it, actually. ...Perhaps I should have an Epilogue or Squeal about their life (lol jk. Unless requested, which I doubt that anyone would. So goes anyone want an Epilogue or something?). Did you like this one better or the other one? Did you like this ending at all? Please review your answers! (And just REVIEW in general :)) **


End file.
